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National FOOD out!

Don't eat anything on Wednesday, May 19th!

Aren't you tired of always having to diet just to lose a little weight? It has been calculated that if everyone in the United States did not eat a single crumb of food for one day and all at the same time, we would each lose 20 pounds and the food industry would choke on the excess calories.

At the same time, it would hit the entire industry with a net loss of over 4.6 billion dollars, which affects the bottom lines of the food companies.

Therefore, May 19th has been formally declared "STICK NOTHING IN YOUR MOUTH" day and the people of this nation should not eat one crumb of food that day.

The only way that this can be done is if you forward this email to as many people as you can as quickly as you can to get the word out.

Waiting on this administration to step in and control the number of calories in fast food is not going to happen. What happened to the reduction and control of calories that the fast food industry promised two weeks ago?

Remember one thing: not only is the serving size of our food going up, but at the same time, airlines are forced to serve lousier meals, or cut them out entirely, which means other food vendors are forced to raise the caloric count of their meals, which affects OUR bottoms. Things like Big Macs, Doritos, Cokes and Pepsis, etc... Who gets fat in the end? We do!

We can make a difference. If they don't get the message after one day, we will do it again and again (but not often enough to make it feel like we're dieting).

So, do your part and spread the word. Forward this email to everyone you know. Mark your calendars and make May 19th a day that the citizens of the United States say "Enough is Enough... I can't eat another bite."



( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 15th, 2004 10:06 pm (UTC)
or we could just have this year be "stick less in your mouth and actually move around year" but that would require effort
May. 15th, 2004 10:13 pm (UTC)
About as much effort as "stick less gas in your tank and actually drive around less year." But, Lord knows, that's too much effort for most people.
May. 18th, 2004 12:53 pm (UTC)
I sent this to the PackyHumor mailing list, too. I got a message from one of my friends, who's a college english teacher, asking about it...

My friend wrote:
> Please tell me this is a joke.

I can never answer simply.

Question 1 (10 minutes):



Compare and contrast these two items of netlore. Is this mere mimicry, or is this satire inspired through frustration at a really stupid idea? Are there any subtle (or not so subtle) attempts at humor in the second example? (250 words or less)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )